Hamilton Opinion Tufts Uncategorized Wesleyan Williams

Unnecessary Platitudes About Nudity

Last week,  Wesleying reported a sophomore’s arrest for some serious French ‘Closer’ behavior via the space beneath the shower stall divide. For me, this incident draws to mind an old saying: “you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”

Let’s apply this sage pragmatism to nudity in the ‘Cac and its consequences:

Re: secretly photographing hallmates in the shower: A photograph of yourself naked in the shower is worth two illegal photographs of your hallmate in the shower.

Re: the shroom-fueled naked romp that ended in tasering: Shroom where you’re planted.

Re: Amanda Palmer’s installation piece: Sometimes a nude student lying covered in fake blood on a dining hall table is just a nude student covered in fake blood on a dining hall table.

Re: the cancellation of Naked Quad Run: Sometimes life is a quad of dicks, and sometimes it’s the quad.

Re: Hamilton’s varsity streaking team: Don’t streak where you eat (while you’re eating there).

Also, y’all might be interested in this recipe for Williams’ famous ‘Knock-You-Naked’ bars recently promoted by their alumni account on Twitter:

The Recipe (via Willipedia)

Ingredients: 1pkg.(18 1/2 oz) German Chocolate Cake mix 1 cup chopped nuts 1/3 cup + 1/2 cup evaporated milk-divided 1/2 (or 3/4) cup melted butter really, one stick is plenty! 60 vanilla caramels, unwrapped (one 14 oz pkg) 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

“In a large mixing bowl, combine dry cake mix, nuts, 1/3 cup evaporated milk and melted butter. Press half of the batter into the bottom of a greased 13x9x2 inch glass baking dish. It’s really stiff batter, so I put waxed paper over it and really smushed it out. Don’t worry – it will rise some in the oven. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for eight minutes.

In the microwave or top of a double boiler melt caramels with remaining 1/2 cup evaporated milk. When caramel mixture is well mixed, pour over baked layer. Cover with chocolate chips. Pour remaining batter on top of morsels. Return to oven and bake 18 minutes (or less for gooier brownies). Let cool before cutting.”

 

 

 

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