Blog Opinion

Graduation Quotes, Revisited

Here is The ‘Cac’s take on the season’s most trite inspiration and sage advice. You won’t find this shit in any Hallmark card:

1. Shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll land among the non-profits.
2. The future belongs to those that believe in the beauty of Ramen and a shared Netflix account.
3.  I took the [road] less traveled by, and that has cost a lot in dorm damage fees.
4.  The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is best if you let it ferment.
5. Hitch your wagon to anything but the Greek economy.
6. Wherever you go, go under your parent’s health insurance.
7.  What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies you tell your relatives about your first job
8.  You have brains in your head/you have feet on your shoes/with clear eyes and full hearts you simply can’t lose!/Don’t trust Craiglist/Don’t sleep with your boss/And when you order in, don’t forget the plum sauce!
9.  Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did, so pay off your loans within the first nineteen.
10. To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means a lot of Adele and hiding chocolate wrappers.
11. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it is that we forgot to TiVo New Girl.
12.  If opportunity doesn’t knock, it certainly won’t knock if you get knocked up.
13. Go confidently in the direction of Boston, DC, or New York.
14. If you can dream it, you can wake up covered in it.
15. Education is the most valuable weapon which you can use to shut down a cocktail party.
16. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around every once in a while your Microsoft Office could be outdated.
17. This above all: they might not notice if you nap under the desk.
18. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s the preview to a more successful career as a single artist.
19. Graduation is only a concept. In real life you took too many philosophy, physics, and modernism classes to take the passage of time seriously.
20. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it whining about Diet Coke.