30 Things To Do/Think About Other Than Your Homework
1. Sing show tunes loudly and enter into heated discussions with your roommates about modern musicals vs. broadway standards.
2. Casually notice that “SOMEONE GERRYMANDERED THE FOURTH MASSACHUSETTS CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT TO THE END OF TIME.”
3. Wikipedia the entire family history of “that hot actor.”
4. Read an article about the JFK assassination.
5. Google map where “that hot guy in your class lives.” (Read: “your ex-hookup’s roommate/roommate’s ex-hookup”)
6. Realize that “Pennsylvania District 12 ain’t kosher either.”
7. Scream at your roommates about the same shared views on the current political climate, the role of religion and the necessity of an educated population.
8. “Did you know that both of California’s senators are women?” “What percent?” “Both.”
9. Photo stalk “that really annoying girl” and her boyfriend. Vocally discuss how you think they met. Fabricate fabulous stories. Realize that nothing you are imagining is even close to the truth.
10. “You know what’s gerrymandered? The STATE of maryland. Has anyone ever seen what that state is shaped like?”
11. Discuss cool internships at consulting firms that you have slim chances of actually landing…
12. Hear drunk people outside and remember that people go out on Tuesdays.
13. Become educated on Air Force One. Add to bucket list.
14. Look up how many people have survived going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. (N.B. It’s illegal, and the answer is 16ish including a cat.)
15. Realize that all of your roommates are about 3 months behind on Google tricks. “OH MY GOD MY GOOGLE FINALLY DID A BARRELL ROLL! “What are you talking about?” “JUST DO IT- YOU’LL SEE!” “WOAH! DO ANOTHER ONE!”
16. Realize you have class in 7 hours should go to bed. Convince yourself to wake up early and do all your work instead of staying up.
17. Realize that some record company is now producing Kidz Bop 21.
18. Learn the technical jargon for different methods of transporting United States Presidents.
19. Get in a fight about Nickleback.
20. Realize that the level of conversation and musical selection is degrading quickly when the argument turns into a Train vs. Jesse McCartney showdown.
21. Realize that, in half-heartedly cleaning this afternoon, you left all your folded clothes on your bed. Attempt to place piles neatly on floor. Fail.
22. Find a comic strip of Mickey Mouse on drugs. Decide it is “way too long” to read.
22. See arms in mirror. Find Shake Weight under futon. Decide to use it tomorrow.
23. Quote Mean Girls.
24. Tank a Sporcle quiz. Refuse to admit to roommates what it was out of embarrassment.
25. Finally realize that one roommate has actually been writing a paper on the Holocaust all night. Feel remarkably guilty for assuming her questions and interjections about the Holocaust were just her being a depressing creep. Promise to go to Hillel this week.
26. “Can anyone do a Christopher Walken impression?” The answer should always be, “no.”
27. Discuss Chrisopher Walken’s career. Diverge into a conversation about Wedding Crashers.
28. Get unacceptably excited for the Harry Houdini musical. (Sorkin, Schwartz, and Jackman? Yes please.)
29. Realize that you might have a paper due tomorrow. Freak out while the syllabus loads. Realize you get paper topic tomorrow.
30. Decide to go to bed while you’re ahead.