Wesleyan

Hi Wes, do you have a minute?

Step into my office. Are you in? Good. No don’t touch the fire alarm…great thanks. I’m sure you know why I called you in here. Oh you don’t? That’s ok. Um, do you mind not rolling that in here? Thanks.

No I’m not allergic to sunflower seeds, go ahead.

You see, the reason I called you here today was that I was excited, nay ECSTATIC when I heard that there was a new artistic project out of Wes. It goes without saying (but I will repeat it for some of our newer readers) that Wes has long been considered the “gifted” artistic ‘Cacling in momma NESCAC’s nest. Now I could digress into a long metaphor involving Coldplay’s ‘Paradise’ and a cover by Noah and the Whale and end with “look! we’re all singing the same song after all!” but I’m not going to. I’m not going to, because frankly I am disappointed.

When I read on Wesleying that there was a Wes-centric tumblr  devoted to anonymous self-portraits I was expecting greatness. I was expecting that it would do for the ‘Cac what Trinity squash or Timeflies does for the ‘Cac.
Manet. Matisse. Winning. Glory…

So WHAT in Gotye’s name is THIS?

You need to step up your game, or you will heretofore be known as the ‘Cac school for lazy babysitters. Do you want that? No. What’s that? You are a lazy babysitter? I don’t care. I’ve made better self-portraits by sitting on an etch a sketch. “Self expression” is not a mantra, “relentless pursuit of excellence” is a mantra.

Now get the hell out of my office and don’t come back until all of your portraits look like this.

And pick up those goddamn seeds.