When the Woman Who Could Do No Wrong Does the Wrongest…..
Its what you order at a bar, its sorta fruity with some Ciroc and Blue Kool-Aid. It is what your distant cousin calls this new HERB he cultivated, that blows blue smoke. It is the title of that movie that shows on CineMaxAfterDark. It is however is not a baby’s name.
Blue Ivy? Really Bey? REALLY!?
Given that we live in a culture where baby names can be ridiculous, did anyone besides me expect more from Beyonce? Did you expect her to maintain her long string of logical and exciting career moves. From her initial departure from Destiny’s Child to her innovative double I Am… Sasha Fierce album. We stood behind her. We stood behind her hits, her over belted misses, her amazing videos, her fierce collabos. But in the time when she could really stand above the rest, she gives us this travesty. Ah.
Now, Baby Bey will join the ranks of other asinine-ly named babies: Seven Sirius (Erykah Badu + Andre 3000), Apple (Chris Martin + Gwenyth Paltrow), Diva Muffin (Frank & Gail Zappa), Bronx Mowgli (Pete Wentz + Ashley Simpson) and countless others. This child literally has to be BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED and BRILLIANT, because she is fighting the world with that name. Maybe Blue Ivy is her stage name and her mom is Sasha Fierce.
My frustrations are insurmountable. And the worst part is that Blue Ivy will probably never be in the ‘Cac. I mean in the world of Sarah Northfacebergs, Josh Von Frats, Anita IRMajorezs, and BlackInTheCacs there just isn’t a place for Blue Ivy. We come from lineages of awesome parents, but we have logical and or cultural names. None of this supervillian, lipstick color, soda flavor bullsh*t.
What’s so depressing is that Beyonce is literally too rich to care. Also, when your daughter starts booty popping in a handstand don’t say anything Jay-Z.
But at any rate, congrats to the Carter Family.